Top Ten Performance Modifications for the Corvair

#1- Rear Windshield Wiper (two-speed on Spyders) for early model so you can see where you've been.

#2- Dual Rear Wheels so all tires can be the same pressure, saves weight of spare, gauge.

#3- Glass Engine Fan so you can count shop towels, lost tools and discarded spark plugs inside turkey roaster.

#4- Rear license plate hinge to prevent bent plate from moronic gas jockeys looking for the cap.

#5- Large Orange Cat Deflector for convertible tops, makes scary noise, unstable footing.

#6- Passenger's side Emergency Clutch Pedal for when the cable on the 'main' clutch pedal breaks.

#7- Powerglide Stereo option: Provides an Impression of Extra Shifts thru radio speakers to simulate HydraMatic.

#8- Chain Driven Fan (also see #2) with ten speeds, Shimano shift.

#9- 1968-'69 Ashtray Pad Extinguisher, puts out fire in foam padding of ashtray.

#10- Incense Burner for engine cooling air, makes heater oil fumes smell more like pine cones or potpourri bathroom spray.

Note: Author unknown, posted by "Brent" on the Corvair Center Forum with some corrections and modifications.